Prologue to my autobiography

This made me write my prologue



What I Have Lived For


Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love procrastination, the search for knowledge cheap , dirty websites, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind soap opera audience . These passions, like great winds prodigious farts of great god zork , have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a great ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair to nasty places, stinky places shitty places with no paddle.

I have sought love smut , first, because it brings ecstasy gratification– ecstasy gratification so great base and cheap , that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life bunked my lectures for a few hours of this joy sick titillation. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness horniness—that terrible loneliness f****** horniness in which one shivering consciousness godforsaken unfortunate looks overpeeks from blinds /stares at monitor the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss at all incredible fornication he is missing. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature in the depravity and debauchery of blondes/redheads/brunettes romping in gay abandon I have seen , the prefiguring vision indescribable indulgance of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined crack whores and pat robertson. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life vigourous for a effete existence, this is what—at last—I have found I am stuck with.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge shirked real work. I wish to understand the hearts of men universe will implode some fine day and take this whole tangle of science with it .I have wished to know why the stars shine rejected all information, as bias is built in with all information, neutrality trumps over knowledge. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux (This is a joke numbers are abstraction and abstract is precursor to obfuscation).
A little of this, but not much, I have achieved. I aimed towards fulfilling not a single duty and I have accomplished my aim.
Love and knowledgePorn and indolence , so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavensto escape from the indifferent reality . But always pityproject dead lines brought me back to earth dreary work. Echoes of cries of paineverlasting meetings and pointless discussions reverberate in my heart. Children in famine Team leaders in panic, victims tortured by oppressors Clients in full moon induced fury, helpless old people a burden to their sonsAnnual performance appraisal , and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil retire after one or two bank heist , but I cannot, and I too suffer from endless project revisions.
This has been my life. I have found it worth living nothing remarkable except for future visions of retired life , and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me provided I am provided better gizmos (like HDTV).