Did they live happily ever after ?

Most of the movies which peddle romance end with “And they lived happily ever after”. Since I am on roll here, let me present alternative endings.

DDLJ: - In the climax scene Kajol is running to catch the train, Shahrukh Khan is beckoning her from the train. She is just about to board the train, all of sudden she slips and goes down under the train and meets a ghastly end. Shahrukh Khan is heart broken and for the remaining life he seeks unrequited love in arms of voluptuous blondes (or for that matter red heads, but please no brunettes)

Moral of the story: Don’t attempt to board moving trains.


KKHH: - In the climax scene Sharukh Khan is going to marry Anjali (Kajol), but unbeknownst to him, Anjali (his daughter) who has a sadistic streak, poisons Anjali (Kajol). Anjali (Kajol) meets a ghastly end, after writhing for an hour, foam coming out of her mouth. Shahrukh Khan is heartbroken and for the remaining life he seeks unrequited love in arms of voluptuous blondes (or for that matter red heads, but please no brunettes).
Anjali (his daughter) grows up to become an acclaimed English author and is frequently cheered as voice of modern women.

Moral of the story: First contrary to propaganda girls are cruel, beware of them. Second don’t give your daughter your ex-girl friend’s name; you are just reinforcing her Electra complex for Chris sake.

K3G: - During one of those scenes where Jaya Bachhan is climbing a sky scraper to knot Amitabh Bachhan’s tie, she slips and meets a ghastly end.
Kareena discovers that she is a lesbian, and Hrithik Roshan seduces Kajol.
Shahrukh Khan is heartbroken and for the remaining life he seeks unrequited love in arms of inflatable dolls (in his defense those dolls were the top ends, as good as the real one, if you know what I mean).
I implore you not to be too judgmental, on me for having a sick mind. Boy’s hostel is to be blamed for this.

Moral of the story: Ties can kill.

HDDCS: - In the climax scene Aishwarya realizes her folly and returns to Ajay Devgan, who however has his eyes set on a virtuous cabaret dancer and refuses to accept her citing rule 200 of hand book for chivalrous wooden marionettes. Salman Khan is killed by a speeding black buck, thus meeting a ghastly end. Aishwarya wanders the streets of Venice claiming to be lost arm of Venus de Milo.

Shahrukh Khan is heartbroken and for the remaining life he seeks unrequited love in arms of Venus de Milo.

Moral of the story: Buck doesn’t stop here.