An act of mercy

(Reason:
1. This is friday night. I am lonely, I am depressed, I am annoyed. It is 3:00 AM for God's sake.
2. One unkind blogger made me eat crowburger yesterday. I have to wreck retribution.
3. I realize that I have freedom of speech, but no responsibility. It is a free lunch

Warning:

Any accidental visitor and Frog, this is not humour,or satire, this is malice, petty and putrid. It is distasteful and offending, which is bad, and lame which is worse. Also this post has unhygienic levels of bad grammar and misspellings.
So if you have any doubts, please do not proceed
)

Since I started reading blogs from last year, there is one aspect which has been constant. It is periodic outbreak of hostility between two bloggers. Content free, and with as much entertainment value as a fight between two retards, which means while this event was amusing initially, now it has begun to grate upon cosmic harmony.

This issue was baffling, it also promised of triteness matched only by 'K' serials. In short, it was something which simply couldn't be refused, and it was thus that this amateur detective ventured forth.

As first approximation, I guessed that this malice was due to usual suspect i.e. frustration arising from lack of fornication. This is a serious issue, endemic in India. In fact I expect UN to declare emergency and dispatch Jenna Jameson.

But this didn't fit,being blogger with means they could have arranged instruments necessary for the gratification (man, woman, canine or dead, it is a free world after all). That they didn't meant I was looking at the wrong place.

On further reasoning, I revised my opinion. May be they were sadomasochists, and they actually loved each other. Then the logical conclusion for them would have been to cohabitate and live happily ever after (which in this would have meant painfully). Their lives and times could have been adapted into a motion picture, which would have been super hit because it would have appealed to audience of both Brokeback mountain and The Passion of the Christ.

Unfortunately I was deceived yet again. They, to my (and all that gave rise to Karan Johan), do not love each other.

Truth is much more complicated, and heart wrenching. Both of them are capable, articulate and intelligent.

One is from a prestigious institute (while I am not, because of merit, which is most unjust, because merit is meaningless as one fine journalist told this humble blogger), the second is great because he says so (and whoever doesn't concur is a Brahman son of bitch who should be given enema).

Problem is their ego is so bloated, so gigantic (or so Aym-Gramdish) that it far exceeds their capabilities. Result of this monstrous ego is that these two people have a strong urge to dominate, to be feted, to be recognized as heroes, problem is this desire is not matched by their capability. Unable to become hero, they do what all failed heroes do, they try to become martyr. But here too their attempt at glory is thwarted, for there is no one to oblige.

Imagine, what horror, what desolation for a person who is bent on self-mortification, but there is no one to stone him. People simply do not crucify nowadays! Instead they write posts making fun of them. This makes them mad, and angry. Because they are mad they hurt each other and bore me. This is getting majorly fucked up, I am pissed off, world is plunging into abyss....

Anyway to relieve them of their suffering, I propose a mob of bloggers meet and lynch both of them, or if lynching is devoid of rapture, crucify. In fact there is another blogger who will be more than willing to drown them in his puke or crush under his poop. But the thing is, this shit has gone for too long, it is intolerable to witness their acts of self pleasure.I can not stand this for another year. So please, noble dwellers of blogdom, fulfill their innermost desires, make this world a better place.