Gratification

Here is my theory, terrorism will not stop against India, because we want it that way. Oh, I don't suggest some sinister cabal of Indians plotting demise of this nation for whatever nefarious design. Instead it is something which floats in our collective subconscious (if there is such a thing). To give an analogy.Consider any common, unremarkable school. Further in that school, consider a child who is unremarkable, even loserish. Now this child craves attention, unfortunately he possess no skill or talent with which he can attract attention on his own. This leaves him depressed and discontented, a state he would definitely like to change. One day this happens, in a rather twisted way. Some bully in his school takes a fancy to his face and decides that it makes for a good punching bag. So, he gets down to the task and gives a nice thrashing to the loser kid. This is very inconvenient to the loser kid. He is hurt physically, and emotionally. Normally this rather humiliating incident that would have led to the loser kid to find ways to avoid any further re-occurrence. This might have either meant developing physical strength or (most likely) finding ways to blend better with the background. Instead something interesting happens suppose after the kid returns from school he is coddled by a group of sympathetic adults, who instead of ignoring his presence (as they always do), shower him with pity, kindness, affection, and perhaps most importantly launch the worst encomiums at the bully. This (being focus of attention) is a novelty to the kid and he finds that he likes this, his craving for attention satiated for the times. With the time however the euphoria wears off and he needs the fix. At this point it is possible that he decides (subconsciously) to place himself in a position of harm in order to once again gain the focus. Result is a repeat of unfortunate incidences. Of course there is a limiting factor in that the beatings may become so unbearable that kid decides being center of attraction is not worth it, or the attention span may follow the rule of diminishing returns. Unfortunately for India, it is too big to be seriously harmed by one terrorist attack, or even a series of attacks, and, let's face it we are the most loserish nation for our size and potential. Hence our craving for attraction is insatiable, and since we are culturally indoctrinated by our secular overlords to view triumph and victory as not only undesirable and immoral, but positively evil, we can only achieve what we crave by being a victim. We, the slaves of post eschaton secularism, will rather not be feared, but we will not be respected either. Instead we will be repeatedly humiliated and pitied upon. But our act of self abnegation is not entirely wasted, perhaps centuries later, the way we meticulously planned our destruction under the siren song of liberal order will be a case study. 

An affirmative case for spanking the kids.

Alternatively titled What happens when I have nothing to write, or how to finish liberalism, libertarianism and all non sensne  for once and all.

To explain the background, FitW's  comment is the starting point for this post. In short FiTW blames atheism for the present affliction of liberalism or libertarianism. I disagree. To use a cliche (from my wardrobe of  soiled cliches), it is a case of mistaking correlation for causation, the proper cause for abomination of atheism as well as induhvidualism is insufficient spanking. To understand the profundity of the simple statement, we must understand  evolution of human society.


Human society (or any other society) exists because it improves the fitness of aggregate for survival. However even as society is formed, struggle for survival as witnessed in the nature continues even within parameter of society. As a result individual self interest is pitted against stability and therefore interest of group. Resolution of this conflict is a phenomenon called social hierarchy. Before we continue, here follows a mild digression..

Digression starts.
Now the criteria on which social hierarchy is formed differs from one animal society to other animal society. At one end of spectrum are societies where this conflict is resolved on basis of  attributes whose positive effect are limited to the individual while having no effect (or even negative effect) on fitness group at large, when hierarchy is decided sheerly on brute strength is one such situation. On the other hand there also exists societies where attributes with positive influence on fitness of group decide the hierarchy. Examples of attributes are experience, and one such society is that of elephants. Here it must be noted that most of the animal societies exist somewhere between the two ends. Other point is that it is also possible for strength and related attributes to be positive attributes on group fitness. The examples that come to mind is when strength is used to enforce order or when co-ordinating hunting (this I believe is closely related to strength).

Digression ends. Also read this


Anyhow, what is more interesting is the fact,  particularly true for humans, that individual animal by genetic makeup is not attuned to voluntarily accept inferior position in social hierarchy. At birth most of us are selfish tyrants. The toddler who we find cute and cuddly if left to devices of genetics only will grow out to become an egomaniac, hellbent on world domination. This scenarios is clearly not a desirable one. What we want instead is an individual who has made his peace with the larger group and is pliable enough to function within the parameter of the society which means the animal spirit within him must be broken and yoked to harness its benefit not just for himself but also for society. Fortunately society is able to accomplish this. The instruments for this purpose are pain, humiliation and more importantly fear and threat to unleash them on individual by the society. One important thing to remember is that while broken, the animal spirit is never vanquished and reside in the inner recesses of mind, shackled and mutilated, but still alive. The individual must be guarded over by society lest this animal, our inner id, breaks its chains and takes control of individual wreaking destruction on the order and stability of society. This implies a lifelong prescription of pain and humiliation.

Now that problem with atheists, liberals, libertarians etc is that a) They were not properly punished  in their childhood and b) They managed to become tolerantly proficient in the language of our erstwhile masters giving them an elevated stature over natives. This situation is exacerbated by their ability to familiarize with the abomination called rock music, and English literature. The results are predictably tragic. Absence of societal control bloats their ego, unleashing their inner narcissus, restricting their world view to obsession with self. Consumed by this egomania, birth of navel gazing clique "induhvidualist" takes place, which suffers from permanent adolescence. This clique revolts against social hierarchy in order to achieve alpha status thus threatening social stability. It is from this reckless instinct of clique that all the other abominations take place.

The remedy for the induhvidualism is clear, a steady regimen of spanking will inculcate respect and obedience for the society through repeated subjection to humiliation and pain. As I have said earlier , this must be taken at utmost priority, survival of civilization depends on our success in controlling aspirants for alpha status.

We Should Celebrate Accidents

This piece of mine was published nowhere and world is a better place for that.

We live in times when progress is often denoted in statistical terms. This is in marked contrast with earlier times when any mention of statistics was considered vulgar and hence pointedly ignored in polite society much like flatulence or star wars. However with the decline of social mores and prevalence of promiscuity statistics has found acceptance in social setting, and shockingly even in policy related discussions.

Now as it turns out that even with statistics there are various measures which can be used to track progress, change in GDP, per capita income, rise in food consumption, each measure illuminating the reality from just particular view point. The question arises, then which is the best measure of India's progress.

It is my considered opinion that one very good measure is number of vehicular accidents. Number of accidents is on rise across India. The data available shows a sharp upturn during last decade in accidents and fatalities caused by them. Now as it happens many commentators are express concern over this trend, regretting loss of the lives and the limbs and demanding policies to ensure road safety. I regret to say, however, that they have not been thinking logically and thinking it through.

For the reality is, the rise in accidents is something which we should be celebrating and not regretting, as it is the single best measure of rising prosperity level. It is not difficult to figure out the reason behind this either. It means that more and more people are now finding the means to own vehicles and to go out and crash them on their own terms.

If we think that merit of society should be decided by the level of prosperity that individuals are able to attain, and indeed it must be, then surely accidents are good news. And for this, we don't need to credit recklessness, the rise of accidents all over world is a consequence of technology and can be best understood in terms of economics.

Technology

In all hand wringing over accidents, the critics fail to realize the true significance of this phenomenon. In earlier ages (when stars wars was considered impolite) , the only modes of transport available were those which were powered by energy harnessed from oxidation of ATP, a decidedly biochemical process undergoing in human or animal cells. The output from was clearly insufficient for transportation. As a result the movement was extremely time consuming. The only exceptions to this were chariot driven by Charlton Heston which was totally cool and raids by Barbarians which was a thoroughly unpleasant business.

Things changed to some extent with invention of steam engine. The power available for movement increased almost exponentially. Ideally this should have seen much desired spike in accident figure, but unfortunately it was not to be. Owing to its sheer size, external engine could not be used for personal transport. Therefore while number of accidents did arise, it was still inappreciable. But a technological revolution was to change this sorry picture.

That revolution was invention of internal combustion engine, which considerably decreased the weight as well as eased manufacture of smaller and lighter vehicles, which fueled by oil could provide enough power to make possible faster mode of transportation even for individuals.

This breakthrough meant that for the first time in the history of mankind, the speed of commute was more than what human reflexes could handle which meant almost exponential increase in incidents. And yet this is not the whole story.

Economics

At this point you must be wondering what has invention of internal engines and motor vehicles, events which took place a long time ago, got to do with Indian progress. Here comes the economics. Anyone who has read The Undercover Economist or Freakonomics might have guessed the answer. The underlying theme of both the books is that quirky manipulation of data combined with random economic concept can make any stark raving, free association, half ass, dumb shit crazy analysis sound cool, which is basically the philosophy behind such venerable publications as livemint, and such reputable bloggers as H.E.

Keeping that in mind, the connection of accidents with India shining is obvious. Prior to liberalization of economy, an average Indian didn't have sufficient disposable income after accounting for household consumption to buy personal vehicle which was considered luxury. To further complicate the matters, restrictions on manufacture and import in form of manufacturing and import permits and licenses limited the availability of motor vehicles.

This however changed during 90's. Rise in income level coupled with easier availability of vehicles had the result of making affordable what was once luxury.

This of course meant a sudden surge in number of vehicles of road. It is therefore natural that accidents increased. There is a further aspect. Drunken driving, a subcategory has shown higher increase than general trend. This is also a good news, as this implies that consumption of alcohol, decidedly a luxury good, is also increasing thus indicating overall increase in prosperity.

Social

But this observations has implication which go beyond economic indicator. For long Indians have been accused of being risk averse, a charge validated by slow speed with which bajaj scooters plodded in days of yore carrying the burden of Indian family. However reckless driving, driving under influence and driving rage are all indicators that mindset of average is transforming from cautious to a confident.

I don't think anyone can object to rising prosperity and confidence, which will allow Indians in pursuit of happiness. The accidents are bound to continue their upwards trend for a long time. In my opinion this is something we should be celebrating.

Next: Why we should celebrate AIDS.

Discuss

The curious case of libertarian attraction with Ayn Rand bordering on obsession is properly understood as a case of oedipal complex. This mania with Objectivism is a natural result of suppression of sexual longing for one's mother, or in other words, for libertarians Ayn Rand is surrogate for their mother.

I see discrimination

Belatedly it has dawned upon me that despite the best intentions of our founding fathers, the seeds of division are still being sown in the innocent mind of our children. What is worse, this despicable indoctrination happens in front of our eyes, but we are too naive to realize horrible implication of this seemingly trivial act. If this is not shocking enough, the perpetrators of this casteist act are the parents themselves.

I refer, of course to concept of tiffin boxes. Wait a minute, you must be thinking, what has this got to do with caste, after all, tiffin boxes are just meant so that caring parents can pack a nutritious lunch for their kids, right ? Absolutely wrong ! Please realize that by the very act of packing lunch they are exercising choice. Choice to refused to be assimilated in a casteless society, choice to practice segregation. This is nothing but indoctrination of most sublime nature intended to perpetuate the blight of caste. Why, I ask, kids can't be fed like pigs, that is in a trough. I mean if that is the way we intend to tolerate casteist bigotry, we could as well segregate drinking water for different castes. What next, asking people to tie bell around the neck so that these kids are not corrupted by their shadows while they are having their nutritious lunch in their lunch boxes.

When I see tiffin or when I hear choice, I hear caste and I hear different tiffins for different castes, and I think: why don't we carry this idea forward, why don't we have different nations for different castes?.

This enlightenment brought to you by this post.

New unit for stupidity

I have just realized that SI doesn't have any unit for stupidity, which makes it necessary for purpose of standardization of measurement to create a new one, which is AVU meaning Amit Varma Unit*. On this new unit, this article by Jug Suraiya, the establishment clown from TOI will fare very well.

Now the facts of tragic death of Scarlett Keeling are hazy at best, but to best of my knowledge the case is this the girl was drugged, assaulted and raped. How the legalization of drugs would have the changed the sequence of events is not at all clear to me, unless the contention is that legalization of drugs would have resulted in complete elimination of criminal activity criminals, which to me appears a very stupid thing to say, and hence it is fair to assign 1 AVU to the idiot from TOI.

*Although to be precise it should be display of stupid behaviour by supposedly well read people. In Hindi succinctly summarized as Padhe likhe bewakoof.

Update 1: Ok, there can be a more plausible scenario. Perhaps the girl was looking for drugs, and the perpetrators of crime were drug peddlers, which means that if the drug were available in kirana store, then she wouldn't have come in contact with peddlers and would have been alive. There are two problems first there would still be criminals who no doubt will make use of drugs to trap people and second the girl was a minor and in all probability selling drugs to her would still be illegal.

One other point. Not every Hindu smokes Charas and it is harmful.

One final point. To put things in perspective this article is still better than the lunacy where it was argued that it was kerosene subsidy which killed Manjunath, while in reality it was IIM-L which killed him. I fear for Desi John Galt.

Update 2: This story for the more plausible scenario.

Why Bloggers Blog

a) They are dolts

b) They have low self esteem.

c) People hate them.

d) They are pursuing Phds in dead end subjects But I repeat myself.

PS Now excuse me while I watch The Enforcer.

Why Rediff Rocks *

Because they are not sensationalist. They have their priorities right. Most important question, ever . Do reply, after thinking logically.

*Is this too streetcarish. I think the balance of inanity in cosmos must be maintained, and if people who are expected to write silly posts, start writing about Guha, and child labour, well I must compensate.

Even the poor have use

As much as it distresses me to disagree with Jagadguru, but to me very idea of sending poor to heaven by rockets is unacceptable . This is just plain wrong. People, everyone howsoever wretched has his use and from this use to the society he derives his dignity. To give just one example, suppose if Vritra were to return, then whose bones would we use to slay him, considering we don't have a Dadhichi , of course, of poor people.

Ok, I am kidding, I just hate poor and being evil capitalist love to gloat over their misery.

Outrageous !

Hindutvavaadis massacred dinosaurs

Mutiny ....Instigated

This is what happens when you incur Jagadguru's wrath. Dear folks of Indian Economy, listen to me, Jagadguru's parambhatkha*. Repent, Rinse, Repeat.

PS The chief heretic claims,

"I have read glib comments on this blog saying that we shouldn’t care about food prices because rich software engineers can afford to pay a bit more for food. I am sure they can, but it is a pity about the landless labourers, who constitute 40% of the poor. They work on land, but they also have to buy their food."

Well, duh, of course poor can not afford to pay more. But who is going to charge more from poor. Instead what we will do is give away food to poor** for free and charge filthy software developers*** something like zillion rupees. Now you must be thinking, why the hell will these cyber-coolies work. Well I have the solution. Motivate them with electric shocks. So, extreme programming, who is your daddy now, eh !

PPS By the way, I have no idea what was the point of original post and the rebuttal to the post. My mind is automatically turned off by any mention of poor. I am rich, screw the poor.

*Much to chagrin of that impostor who shall not be named.

** With same procedure for means testing as they have for MCM. I believe the chief heretic will get the reference.

*** Designation notwithstanding I am a Software inhibitor. I have managed to nip single handedly many bad ideas in bud with my lack of work ethics. Sure a few good ideas were also crushed in the process, thankfully wonks call this collateral damage

Another Appeal

Dear Mr Advani,

Please do what C Uday Bhaskar says. Not because I care for nuclear deal as such or for India. But because any such action would piss off Jagadguru. In his normal state Jagadguru is just another leftist idiot, however when he is pissed off, source of divine comedy.

Divine proposition

Some time back Jagadguru had claimed that Tamizh Brahmins are crazy (or something like that, I forget), due to centuries of inbreeding. This for some uncertain reasons riled certain Bihari-Gujrati-Kayastha* kaffirs**.

Now I believe that Jagadguru himself hails from that community (I mean Tamizh Brahmins, not B-G-K apostates) , this taken together with the fact that he is biggest lunatic in the leftist asylum, should validate his proposition to some extent.

Coming from any lesser mortal I would term it sheer stupidity. From Jagadguru it is divine wisdom.

* I am getting sick of Kayasthas. Will my existence ever be Kayastha free !

** For not believing in Jagadguru, of course.

Awesome Thinking

Ban inefficiency.*

Update: Wait it gets even more awesome. Ban Carnot.

The Revealation

I admit I was under mistaken impression that Indian Economy crowd was a bunch of well meaning , if a little effete, (classical) liberals/libertarians/whatdoyoucall'ems. However Jagadguru (Praise Be Upon Him) has revealed that those guys are actually closeted Hindutva Fascists.

So my message to those people. Come on guys, come out of closet already. Together you and me can have hot and not a little dirty Hindutva Fascist love fest.

In Public Service

I think if aspiring politicians want to make their mark in politics, then the most crucial thing to follow is correct diet.To be more precise a politician must avoid any fibrous content such as leafy vegetables.I think it is clear that fiber facilitates bowel movement.
Hence it follows that eschewing fibrous intake coupled with lack of exercise (and occasional consumption of your Christian roommates) is a guarantee of constipation.
Now a chronically constipated politician, for all appearances, can substitute a politician who is sincere and perseveres. In fact, I will go as far as to assert that no statistikrieg by DataNazi can actually make a distinction.

There is a further aspect to it. As emphasized by my dearest (and purely irrational) mother, constipation causes white hair, and scientific research has established that a "salt and pepper" look is a perfect substitute for wisdom. In fact it is one better than that, Grey hairs gives an appearance of brilliance combined with hotness while being a complete dunce (in other words George Clooney).
A fearless streak of white in the hair is more effective in demolishing the best arguement of opponents as opposed to a reasoned debate.

What are you waiting for. Say yes to an unhealthy lifestyle, today !

Outrage unnoticed

OH MY GOD !

Hindutva fascists low life scums have managed to infect the real America, and placed the dreaded symbol of bigotry in their typical sneaky way (via)

OMG! OMG! OMG !

WHAT AM I GONNA DO ! WHAT I AM GONNA DO ! WHAT AM I GONNA DO !

Please someone link the outrage on Desi Pundit !

Or may be, it is time to send Jagadguru signal !

Jagad-guru, Jagad-guru. / Does whatever a Jagad-guru does. / Can he swing / from a web? / No he *can't*, / cause he's a Jagad-guru. / Look out! / He is the Jagad-guru

PS The inspiring theme song, copied shamelessly from here.

PPS Yes I know I am mixing my superheroes. Who do you think I am, a fanboy or something !

The Fourth P

In order to further my nefarious reactionary program of Hindutva Fascism, I will call it as countercultural movement again dominant liberal debauchery.

PS. The P comes from here. My four years didn't entirely go waste.

Support Agarkar

Really, What can I say ! It must be havoc wreaked upon our ability to think "logically" by Indian education system that Jagadguru often bemoans, and from which only Jagadguru and Desi John Galt seem to have escaped. How else can one explain these absurd posts by otherwise normal (if not as gifted as yours truly) people!

Let me explain what this is all about. Cricket is a game, or rather malaise, introduced by our former gora sahibs, along with bad suits and even worse Jane Austen novels. A typical ODI (One Day International) on minimum takes, with actual play, drink breaks, altercations, bad decisions, bad light, English commentary and ad breaks, at least eight hours. Add to this pre and post match discussion both inside idiot box and outside it, and the man hours wasted on this obsession with cricket are plainly unacceptable for a developing country like India.

In fact it will not be an exaggeration to say that damage inflicted by cricket goes beyond waste of productive hours, considering that the time could also be put to use in general education (by reading this blog of course), further it is cricket which has enslaved the multitude to manufactured emotions and obstructed any substantial independent thinking (exceptions of course being Jagadguru and his parambhaktha).

It is here that Agarkar comes into the picture and imparts a great service to this nation. Make no mistake ladies and gentleman, it is not that he lacks the talent but he deliberately chooses to be inconsistent, every time he bowls an overpitch or fulltoss while attempting yorker or he sprays deliveries in a fashion reminiscent of Chicago gangster of 30's, he is trying to deliver the masses from slavery to this colonial blight. It is to unshackle the shackles of induced exuberance and to pull back Indians from hypnotic propaganda, that he selflessly toils.

Dear friends he is sacrificing his carrier and lucrative endorsement for a better future. Every time India is whumped by Poms, Roos or Babos*, she inches towards emancipation, the chains which have imprisoned us get released by a slight degree.

In conclusion

Promote freedom. Destroy Cricket. Support Agarkar.

* Brothers across the border.

I Am A FredHead

Yes I support Fred Thompson for 2008. Now I have no idea about American politics, or the key issues in presidential campaign. Neither do I have any idea about Mr Thompson's positions on any issue.

Now some people may question the rationality of my decision. But these people simply have got their priorities mixed up. Focus people focus ! Mr Thompson scores where it really matters. He is the most authentic presidential looking presidential candidate. Now obviously that takes priority over anything else.